Showing posts with label Amazing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Amazing. Show all posts

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Don't have an e-mail.......

A Jobless man applied for the position of “office boy” at Microsoft.
The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

“You are employed” he said. Give me your e-mail address and I’ll send you the application to fill in,
as well as date when you may start.

The man replied “But I don’t have a computer, neither an email”.
“I’m sorry”, said the HR manager. If you don’t have an email, that means you do not exist. And who
doesn’t exist, cannot have the job.”

The man left with no hope at all. He didn’t know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then
decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.
He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours,
he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times,
and returned home with $60

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late.
Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.

Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US
He started to plan his family’s future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.
When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.
The man replied,”I don’t have an email.”

The broker answered curiously, “You don’t have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!” The man thought for a while and replied, “Yes, I’d be an office boy at Microsoft!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Amazing Facts

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men:
Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

***********
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
***********
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
Named Rita (-4)
Rita is a dancer (-6)
Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)
***********
HER BIRTHDAY
You forget her birthday (-50000)
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)
***********
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
***********
ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)
***********
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks
like a concerned __expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)
Now what chance do you have???


Pass it on to the poor fellas for info !

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Check before you Send


A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room,
so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.
However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without
realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile….Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from her
husband’s funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence
messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she fainted. The
widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and
saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Reached
Date: 16 May 2004
I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They gave computers here,
and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.
I’ve just reached and have been checked in.
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Only great minds can read this 

This is weird, but interesting!  
 If yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too 

   


  
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. 
  
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it