Some Suggestions for Success

 1.      Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.

2.     Work at something you enjoy and that’s worthy of your time and talent.

3.     Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

4.     Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

5.     Be forgiving of yourself and others.

6.     Be generous.

7.     Have a grateful heart.

8.     Persistence, persistence, persistence.

9.     Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.

10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.

11.   Commit yourself to constant improvement.

12.  Commit yourself to quality.

13.  Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.

14. Be loyal.

15.  Be honest.

16. Be a self-starter.

17.  Be decisive even if it means you’ll sometimes be wrong.

18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.

19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the ones you did.

20.Take good care of those you love.

21.  Don’t do anything that wouldn’t make your Mom proud

22. The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

Don't have an e-mail.......

A Jobless man applied for the position of “office boy” at Microsoft.
The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

“You are employed” he said. Give me your e-mail address and I’ll send you the application to fill in,
as well as date when you may start.

The man replied “But I don’t have a computer, neither an email”.
“I’m sorry”, said the HR manager. If you don’t have an email, that means you do not exist. And who
doesn’t exist, cannot have the job.”

The man left with no hope at all. He didn’t know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then
decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.
He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours,
he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times,
and returned home with $60

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late.
Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.

Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US
He started to plan his family’s future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.
When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.
The man replied,”I don’t have an email.”

The broker answered curiously, “You don’t have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!” The man thought for a while and replied, “Yes, I’d be an office boy at Microsoft!”

Beautiful Woman

The beauty of a woman lies IN HER SILENCE

rather than her speech.

The beauty of a woman lies IN HER VEIL

rather than her face.

The beauty of a woman lies IN HER SUBMISSION

rather that her leadership.

The beauty of a woman lies IN HER SMILE

rather than her laughter.

The beauty of a woman lies IN HER PATIENCE

rather than her inquisitiveness.

The beauty of a woman lies IN HER ABODE

rather than her adventure.

The beauty of a woman lies IN HER OFFSPRING

rather than herself.

The beauty of a woman lies IN HER EXPERIENCE

rather than her age.

The beauty of a woman lies IN HER HEART DEPTH

rather than in skin deep.

The beauty of a woman lies IN HER KITCHEN

rather than in cubicles.

The beauty of a woman lies IN HER PERSPIRATION

rather than her perfumes.

The beauty of a woman lies in her LORD because HE is the creator of such a beautiful thing called “Woman”…!!!

Never lie to your mom!!!!!!!

A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, his son volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, we are just roommates."

About a week later, his roommate came to him saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

He said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."

He sat down and wrote :
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you ‘did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you ‘did not' take the silver plate .. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,
your son

Several days later, he received an email from his Mother which read:

Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you ‘do' sleep with your roommate, and I'm not saying that you ‘do not' sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now, under the pillow…

Love,
Mom.

Never lie to your mom!!!!!!!

Never play with words to women!

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers: "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"

The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl!!!" The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"

"Very good, thank you." "And, what happened to my present?"

"Which present?" She asked.

"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"

"Oh, that" she said "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for 9 months to see if it is a girl)

Moral of the Story: Requirements should be explicit, Elaborate and clearly communicated.

Vacuumized!!!!!!!!!!

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street.

A tall lady open the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.

"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful Vacuum cleaner in the next 10 mins, I will EAT all this dung!"

Exclaimed the eager salesman.

"Do you need chilly sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.

The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?? "

"There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady.

Moral of the story:

Gather all requirements and resources before working on any project and committing to the client...!!!

Childish Tea

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 3 years old,

and someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift.

It was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him

a little cup of 'tea', which was just water.

After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mum came home.

My Dad made her sit quietly in another room,

so mum could watch me bring dad the cup of tea, because I was so cute.

Mum waited, and sure enough, I came walking down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy.

Mum watches dad drink from the tea cup.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know......)

'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water, is the toilet ?'

How company policies are formed?

In this experiment they put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of the room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas hanging from a hook on the ceiling.

Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all the monkeys are sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable.

Soon enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys, not wanting to be sprayed, set upon him and beat him up.

Soon, none of the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.

One of the original monkeys is then removed, and a new monkey is put in the room. Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders why none of the other monkeys are doing the obvious, but, undaunted, he immediately begins to climb the ladder.

All the other monkeys fall upon him and beat him silly. He has no idea why. However, he no longer attempts to climb the ladder.

A second original monkey is removed and replaced.

The newcomer again attempts to climb the ladder, but all the other monkeys hammer the crap out of him.

This includes the previous new monkey, who, grateful that he's not on the receiving end this time, participates in the beating because all the other monkeys are doing it.

However, he has no idea why he's attacking the new monkey.

One by one, all the original monkeys are replaced, eight new monkeys are now in the room. None of them have ever been sprayed by ice water. None of them attempt to climb the ladder.

All of them will enthusiastically beat up any new monkey who tries, without having any idea why.

AND THAT'S HOW VERY MANY COMPANY POLICIES & PROCEDURES GET ESTABLISHED

7 Dangerous acts after a meal

1. Don’t smoke: Experiments from experts proves that smoking a cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of cancer is higher) 


2. Don’t eat fruits immediately: Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Thre fore take fruits 1 -2 hours after meal or 1 hour before meal.


3. Don’t drink tea: Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This substance will cause the protein content in the food we consume to be hundred thus difficult to digest.


4. Don’t loosen your belt: Loosening the belt after meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted and blocked. 


5. Don’t bathe: Bathing after meal will cause the increase of blood flow to the hands, legs and body thus the amount of blood around the stomach will therefore decrease, this will weaken the digestive system in our stomach.


6. Don’t walk about: People always say that after a meal walk a hundred steps and you will live till 99. In actual fact this is not true. Walking will cause the digestive system to be unable to absorb the nutrition from the food we intake.


7. Don’t sleep immediately: The food we intake will not be to digest properly. Thus will lead to gastric and infection in our intestine.


Okay, I seriously have a question. What else should we do, is there any other options????

Always allow the Boss to Speak FIRST!!!!!!!

A junior Software engineer, a senior Software engineer and their PM are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come 
across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost Says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but
as you are three, I will allow one wish each". 


So the eager Junior Software engineer shouted, I
want the first wish.
I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries.

"Pfufffff and he was gone.


Now the Senior Software engineer could not keep
quiet and shouted " I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty
of food and cocktails.
"Pfufffff and he was also gone.


The PM calmly said," I want these two idiots back
in the office after lunch at 1.30pm"

Moral of the story is: Always allow the boss to speak first"

The Real Interviewee

Honestly, we will have these answers in our mind ... but we give different, tailored and suitable answers to the guy !

1. Why did you apply for this job?

I have applied for many jobs along with this and you called me now.

2. Why do you want to work for this company?

I have to work for some company who ever gives me a job, I don't have any specific company in mind.
3. Why should I hire you?

You have to hire some one, you may give me a try.

4. What would you do if this happened?

Well, it depends my mindset and mood at that situation...

5. What is your biggest strength?

Basically, daring to join any company who pays me well, without thinking of the fate of company

6.What is your biggest weakness?

Girls

7. What was your worst mistake, and how did you learn from it?

Joining my earlier company and learnt that I need to jump to get more money, so I am here today

8. What accomplishments in your last position are you most proud of?

Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need to change my job? I could demand more and stay there.

9. Describe a challenge you faced and how you overcame it?

Biggest challenge is answering the question "why are you looking for a change" and I started blabbering irrelevantly to overcome that.

10. Why did you leave/ are you leaving your last job?

For the same reason why you left your earlier job

11. What do you want from this job?

If no work is given but keep giving good hikes

12. What are your career goals and how do you plan to achieve them?

Make more money and for that keep jumping companies for every 2 yrs

13. Did you hear of our company and what do you know of us?

Yeah, I know that you will ask this, I've gone through your website

14. What is the salary expected and how do justify that?

Well, no one will change job for the same salary, hence, give me 20% extra than what I am getting and that is unpublished industry standard
(I know you will bargain on what ever I ask, hence, I have already hiked my current salary by 30%)

Watch this..... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! H ah ha aha ha

Tagged again!

I realized I have been serious in my blog recently. But all I could think was serious stuff :) But then I never could think of something light to write.. SAD!! seriously... So I resigned to a tag thing! Here it goes...

I am: a bit confused.

I think: I am losing my mind here!
I know: that I am God’s biggest mistake!
I want: to go home right now!
I have: been thinking something… Hmmm…
I wish: for more wishes!
I hate: a few people in my life, but can’t really help it! 
I miss: being in love!
I fear: slimy insects!
I feel: the urge to scream out loud…
I hear: deafening silence!
I smell: (right now) coffee!
I crave: for thayir sadam, manga urugai, chicken briyani, thalcha, home made ayira meen kozhambu! nothing better!
I search: for the one who shall remain forever.
I wonder: if I can finish my work in time today…
I regret: not being able to hold on to her!
I love: the smell of rain in summer.
I ache: when I twist my body in an awkward angle!
I care: not one bit for the political jerks in the world! 
I am not: a religious guy!
I believe: I can fly!
I dance: when I am high!  (which is never)
I sing: in the bathroom and while riding the bike!
I cry: not…
I don’t always: tell the truth!

I fight: with myself a lot!
I write: to please the Reader! (remember, I'm one too! :) )
I win: always!
I lose: never!
I never: lose! 
I always: try not to repeat myself!
I listen: very well…seriously!
I can usually be found: online!
I am scared: of my own shadow! It’s a very powerful piece of dark magic!
I need: to be constantly reminded of my own mortality!
I am happy about: what I am!

Amazing Facts

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men:
Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:
***********
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
***********
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
Named Rita (-4)
Rita is a dancer (-6)
Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)
***********
HER BIRTHDAY
You forget her birthday (-50000)
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)
***********
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
***********
ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)
***********
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks
like a concerned __expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)
Now what chance do you have???


Pass it on to the poor fellas for info !

I Will

In 1980, IDBI bank rejected loan for Ambani.

In 2008, Mukesh Ambani was planning to buy IDBI bank.

this shows nothing is impossible...

now in 2009, HDFC bank rejected loan for me...

but in 2020, I'm planning to....
;;; ;;;;;;

Apply for loan again!

Court Disorders @ it Best

There is a book called Disorder in the Court. These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters – who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

Some of these are excellent …
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the accident?
A: Gucci sweatshirt and Reeboks.

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: By whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere

Check before you Send

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room,
so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.

However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without
realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile….Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from her
husband’s funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence
messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted. The
widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and
saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Reached
Date: 16 May 2004

I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They gave computers here,
and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.

I’ve just reached and have been checked in.
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Only great minds can read this 

This is weird, but interesting!   If yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too 

   

  Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. 
  i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it